


Moments at Adamant

by geekyjez



Series: Isii Lavellan [34]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adamant Fortress, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, In the Fade, Nightmares, The Fade, Worst Fear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:58:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3932530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekyjez/pseuds/geekyjez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots covering Isii Lavellan's time in the Fade at Adamant. The gravestones, the Nightmare's words, and learning of Solas's greatest fear all leave her shaken by the end of the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gravestones

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter was originally written as a separate drabble over on [tumblr.](geeky-jez.tumblr.com)

Her eyes scanned over the deep grooves of her name carved into the stone, the message beneath it causing her jaw to clench tightly.

_Hawke: They Will Find Him_

Mariah ran her tongue hard against her teeth, cracking her knuckles as one of her hands balled into a fist. “I am officially over the Fade,” she growled.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” Cole whimpered, staring down at one of the tombstones as Hawke rose from her crouched position. 

“You and me both,” she grumbled.

“I must say, Solas,” the Tevinter began, his brow arched as he glanced down at what she assumed was his own gravesite. “This is not exactly proving to be the fascinating experience you promised. Difficult to be intellectually stimulated while being simultaneously frightened witless.”

The Inquisitor was staring intently at the elven mage. There was something pained in the way she looked at him, her posture stiff and eerily stilled. Solas’s eyes darted briefly over to her before addressing Dorian. “We should not linger here. This is merely another attempt by the demon for us to lose our focus. Better we move on.”

Isii shifted her feet in the dirt, walking slowly past the row of headstones before stopping. Mariah could see the look on her face shift, her brow lowering, her eyes wide as she scanned its surface. Her gaze grew distant as she stared at whatever was written there, a look of quiet dread sinking into her features.

“Hey.” Isii looked up at the sound of her voice. “You still with us?”

The elf nodded, shaking off her thoughts with an unsteady breath, her face hardening. “Sooner we get out of here, the better.” She did not hesitate then, gripping her staff as she took broad strides away from the mock cemetery, clearly wishing to put as much distance between it and herself as possible. The others fell into step behind her.

Mariah lingered for a moment, glancing down at the headstone that had rattled the Inquisitor.

_Isii: They Will All Die_

Hawke could not hold back the bitter laugh that caught quietly in her throat as she unsheathed her daggers once more. “I know how you feel,” she muttered to herself before rushing to catch up with the group. 


	2. Nightmare Speaks

_“How does it feel, Inquisitor - knowing you are a fraud?”_ The booming voice resonated across the very fabric of the Fade. It was piercing, unavoidable. Isii took a breath, blasting a chain of lightning across the field to strike the spiders lunging at Hawke. She needed to block it out. She needed to focus.

 _“They hold you up as their Herald. Their Messiah. Their Deliverer. But you know you are none of these things. They put their faith in you and you will fail them. All of them.”_ Isii trained her eyes on the enemy ahead of her, even as her skin began to crawl.

 _“_ _You will lead them to their deaths.”_  Her aim faltered slightly, her hand trembling as she gripped her staff. _“And yes, they will all die. Just like the others you could not save.”_

She could not block it out now. The voice sank into her spine, gripping her stomach tightly. Cole stared at her, his eyes widening. She knew he would be able to sense the change in her. Her eyes narrowed, her jaw tight as the last of the spiders fell. _“And you will not be their Savior. You will always be that frightened little girl who can do nothing but watch as the things she loves are ripped from her.”_

“Still your mind, vhenan.” She heard Solas call out from his position, moving closer to her side. “Do not listen. You will only embolden it.”

_“Do you really think you can hold onto them now? That you could hold onto him? You are a bigger fool than you know, da’len.”_

_“_ Halam sahlin. _”_  Solas snapped, his eyes narrowing. “Tel'dirthas.”

The nightmare merely laughed, its low and gravelly rasping echoing through the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Halam sahlin. Tel'dirthas” means “This ends now. Silence/ Do not speak.”


	3. Dirth Ma, Harellan

_“Speak to me, traitor…”  
_

The ringing echo of Elvish rumbling through the low gravel of that voice sounded foreign to her ears. Her fear that those words were meant for her was quickly swept aside as she saw the subtle movement of Solas’s face. It was a subdued reaction. No one but Isii would recognize the tension in his jaw or how he flinched, his eyes narrowing. Still, he did not slow his stride. They had to press forward. 

_“Your victory amounts to nothing.”_

Solas’s expression hardened then, any sign of conflict or reaction gone. More horrors came into view up ahead - spiders and shades of other fears shifting toward them at a quick pace. He twirled his staff over his head, sweeping and slamming as a wave of frost shot toward their advancing foes.

If she didn’t know any better, she would say he was relieved to have a distraction.

_“Your pride will bring about your death…”_

Isii felt her stomach sinking, her skin crawling. She wanted that voice to have physical form - wanted it there before her so she could claw raked fingers into its eyes until it took back its threat. Solas appeared strangely unmoved, his voice firm and unwavering as he shouted back into the darkness.

_“Nothing is inevitable.”_

“I take it that wasn’t a friendly chat,” Hawke said dryly, blades dripping with a sickly ichor as she wrenched them from the twitching corpse of a fallen spider. She lunged at a second, landing daggers-first onto its back, grunting as she twisted her weapons free, her boot pinning its head to the ground as it squirmed.  

Isii eyed her lover warily. Something was wrong. She could see it in his face, betraying the composure his voice had presented. “Solas?”

His eyes met hers and there was something there - a brief flash of something she could not comprehend that faded as quickly as it had appeared. He shook his head. “It is toying with us,” he said quickly. “Do not feed it with your reaction. Push the thought away and clear your mind.”

Isii nodded, obeying as best she could. They were lies, nothing more. A demon saying what it knew would get a rise out of them. Their victory, their struggle here - it would not amount to nothing. Solas would not die. 

She would never allow that to happen. 

It was nothing but a trick.


	4. Dying Alone

Solas let out a slow breath, stretching his neck and shoulders as he looked down from the crumbling parapet. A slow rain was settling over the broken remains of Adamant, a thickening mist that threatened a storm, the air heavy with saturation. His gaze drifted down into the Abyssal Rift and for a time, he allowed his mind to become lost in the black void of the endless chasm. A broken hole in the world - a jagged scar that plunged to depths no mortal had found the boundaries of. The evil pitch of the Blight lay down there; dormant for now, but waiting. This place was tainted by its history - long-strained by violence and suffering and corruption. Even in waking, he could sense the press of eager spirits against the Veil. After tonight’s endeavors, they would have more than enough carnage to feast themselves upon; more memories of senseless loss to add to the growing pile.

He did not look forward to dreaming in such a place.

The battle left him feeling drained. He presumed it was much the same for the others. To see the Fade physically, to see the Black City on the horizon, to see the twisted mockery that it had become… it left him far more unsettled than any of the words the Nightmare had whispered to him.

He startled when he felt the arms wrapping tightly around his waist, so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear her approach. Isii buried her face against his back and he could feel a certain unease with how tightly she gripped him, her breaths unsteady.

“Vhenan?”

She answered only with a squeeze. He lay his arms against hers, holding her there for a moment in their silence, the restless sounds of a recovering battlefield feeling far more distant than they had before. The mist thickened, the first droplets of rain falling. Slowly, he eased her grip, allowing him to turn and face her. The word was on his lips once more -  _my heart_  - trying to ask what was wrong when she reached up, catching the nape of his neck and pulling him forward to the press of her kiss.

He did not know what this was in response to but he gave into her insistence. She tasted of battle, of blood and sweat and ashes, the heavy scent of the Fade made physical in her flesh. Her mouth was pained but delicate, tracing sadness on his lips that warmed only slightly as he returned the gesture, his hand moving to her cheek. He pushed her far enough to look into her face, his brow lowering. She wore a quiet sorrow that he was unaccustomed to seeing. “What’s wrong?”

Her eyes darted between his own, studying his face as her lips twisted, pursing and relaxing, struggling with something he did not understand. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. “Of all the things I saw in the Fade… do you know what hurt the most?”

He cupped her jaw in his hands, her cheeks growing wet from the newly falling rain. “Do not allow those demon’s words to get under your skin, Isii. It was trying to draw your fears to the surface, to feed upon your hidden hurts.”

She shook her head softly, her hand lifting, wrapping her fingers around his wrist. “I’m not talking about one of my fears.”

His recognition came slowly, his chest feeling tight. He had seen the way her eyes moved to him after gazing upon the headstone. Though he diverted, redirected, suggested they move on and not lose focus, the moment had not passed him by.

He did not have to look to know what was written there.

She pulled his hands down from her face, shifting closer to embrace him again, her head tucked at the base of his throat. He returned the gesture, though his hold was looser than her own, his fingers trailing over dampening hair. And then her words, a half-whispered promise, a sentence that made his chest ache beneath the press of her cheek.

“You don’t ever have to be alone again, Solas.”

He slowed his breathing. Conscious. Controlled. He pressed a kiss into her hair and when he spoke, he kept his voice low and level. “Do not think on it, vhenan. Banish it from your thoughts.”

She lifted her face and when she looked at him, the pink tint framing her eyes made it clear that it was not only rain that dripped down her cheeks. He kept his face calm, the steady mask set firmly in place as he brushed his thumb along her cheekbone, offering a small smile. “I would not see you cry for my insecurities.”

Her jaw clenched and her gaze lowered as she slowly nodded. She pressed forward again, holding him and the silence settled once more. The rain sped its steady rhythm, trickling down the back of his collar as he bowed his head over her own, whispering soft comforts in her ear. He could feel she was settling.

“We should seek shelter, Isii.”

“Just stay,” she whispered. “A little while longer.”

He hesitated before tightening his grip, feeling her relax into his touch. “I shall stay. A little longer.”

He knew it would not be long enough.


End file.
